When a soldier dies, what help is needed by the their families

When a soldier dies, what help is needed by the families and what are the challenges they face: Unfortunate but True Facts.

India has been engaged in insurgency situations ever since independence. We ignored the North East, and faced insurgency situations over there for several decades. That followed with the insurgency in Punjab, followed by the continuing situation in Jammu and Kashmir. In fact we have lost more soldiers during peace time then in actual wars that we have fought and for the time period that we have been independent, we have got a fair share of wars, may be more than any other nation.

I had the first taste of soldier’s problem in 1971, when I lost a well-known person who was just two years older than me. He was recruited in May 1971 just after his marriage, and joined the Jat Regiment. During his entire military service of less than 7 months he came home only once, the second time his ashes came. I was the unfortunate recipient of those ashes, since his father was blind person, I was the one who read the telegram received about his death. He was 19 years when he died, at the battle of Fazilka. Actually in 2012 we represented the story of that event through a 40 minutes stage play. After the great victory of 1971 government decided to give a better pension to the widows of the soldiers, which was to be equal to the basic pay of the solider and was to be continued till the retirement age (15 years of service at that time) and I guess was to be converted into the pension amount after that period. The pension of this widow was 139 rupees per month. The US dollar I think was around INR 7 or so. That means a pension of $ 20/- per month. Interestingly, every one including the widow’s father were more interested in getting hold of that pension amount. The soldier’s father wanted pension to be given to him for he was blind and was having four daughters and one son who was barely 8 years old. His argument was that he was the one who took care of his son for all these years while the lady was married to him and spent only one night with the soldier. Imagine the plight of that 16-17 year old girl who spent only one night with her husband and was now widow in orthodox society in early 70s. I fought for the widow of the soldier and finally, I assume the pension was divided half and half between the father of the soldier and the widow. The fact of the matter is when a soldier dies, the family members of the widow want to take advantage of everything. It is unfortunate but true.

Recently someone came from India and met me in one of the social event. He was discussing with me about the Kargil colony made in Delhi. He was telling me that many flats given to the widows of the soldiers are occupied by the brothers of soldiers and they don’t vacate them, while the widows are still suffering.

Another issue that came to my notice was when I visited my battalion in 2012. The veer naries (as we call the widows of the soldiers) complained that the civil authorities were telling them that the Petrol Pumps and Gas Agencies allotted to them were on a short lease and that needs to be renewed for which they were asking for money.

So, there are so many issues, those needs to be addressed. Government can’t be everywhere. Even our soldiers want to take advantage of the situation. I recently visited India. Last year one soldier had died immediately after his retirement leaving behind five children, and a disabled widow. We sent about $ 1000 to that family last year and promised them to pay for the tuition of the children studying in 12^th or below grades. They had two children. I met some of the soldiers who initially informed me about that soldier. I met these soldiers during my battalion’s annual get together at Mathura. I told them that I would like to meet the family helped by Shradhaa Foundation, and see what all help we need to provide them. Accordingly a day was fixed for my visit to Meerut. I called these people in the morning of the day I was to reach Meerut, from Aligarh where I was staying previous day. They did not tell me that the family was not in the station on that particular day. When I reached Meerut then they told me that the family was not there and instead wanted me to meet the people of local Jat Association. They told me that two days later they were having the function of Jat Association and wanted me to present the check to the family during that function. It really put me off. I went back without meeting any of the Jat Association leaders. I had two soldiers of my battalion living at Meerut that they must let me know when the family was present in Meerut, so that I can see them personally. I had to make another trip to Meerut, to meet the family. They were really very scared of even getting the help, as the money that we had sent for them was given to them with Jat Association taking credit for that. I was finally able to convince them that there is going to be no middleman in the help that comes from Shradhaa.

The point I want to bring to notice of the readers, is that it is the kith and kins of the diseased soldiers who create more problems for the widows than anyone else. Shradhaa organization want volunteers from all across the world who can help these families not only financially, but legally and can help in ensuring that the benefits given to them are not diluted by relatives and local leaders/ goons.

TSEWA is one organization that is helping the soldiers. It is an incredible organization. I personally know a few of the office bearers of this organization and can vouch for their honesty, sincerely and loyalty to the men in uniform. I believe, all organizations who want to help soldiers and their widows can join hands with Shradhaa (in USA) and TSEWA (in India) and contribute to help the widows and children of our soldiers. So what all help is needed by the widows/ and children of diseased soldiers:

1. The money given by the government reaches to them seamlessly, and without pilferage.
2. The assets like Petrol Pump, Gas Agencies or any other benefit given to them is actually received by them without tears, and is managed well so that they can get maximum benefits out of that.
3. Counselling of the children about education and guidance in selection of career.
4. Physical protection from the local goons.
5. Help in educating them about their entitlements and procedures to get those benefits.

There might be more points that might come to your notice. Please share your experience so that together we can help the families of those who gave their TODAY for our TOMORROW.

If you want to help someone using the Shradhaa Platform, you are encouraged to become member and carry this organization forward.